I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
PANTIES FOUND
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