Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
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