I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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