I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
