I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
