Can i not drive my cunt home
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
