you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
sex in a hospital.. check
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
