I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I still have a little drunk in my system
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
