From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
