Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
