I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
