I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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