I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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