i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
