Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I love you.
Bad choice
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize