He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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