You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
