Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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