So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
