You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
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