look no pants
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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