Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
