TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
