i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Randomize
