I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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