I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i barfeds in our rink
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
you inspire me to be a worse person
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
