Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
