if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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