Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
my nose is crying tears of wow.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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