wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
