She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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