I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
