hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
