i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
