Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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