Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Randomize
