I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
