I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
