Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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