His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Randomize
