DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
