i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
