from now on my penis is your penis
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
