what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Randomize
