This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
