I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize