glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Randomize
