Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
