last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
