Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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