just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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