get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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