$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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