I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
