Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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