Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
