Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Randomize
