the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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