I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize