I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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