We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
