Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
